why

sorry i havent' posted lately. things haven't beeng going well for me. i don't know when i'll post again. right now what i have to say isn't what i should be saying. prayers accepted guys.

Kainos

You all need to check out the band Kainos. They're currently on tour with ShoutFest (a travelling festival thing). They so rock! I've seen them twice this summer and will see them a third time on sunday. To hear their music, go to www.myspace.com/kainos

Yeah, GO CHECK THEM OUT! NOW!

:D

Hurricane Rita

Guys, pray for those in the area hurricane rita might hit. They most definitely need our prayers right now. I know I (as well as most of you, my gomer buddies) have friends in that area who are evacuating. Unfortunately there are many who can't get out (those who dont' have cars for example) pray especially for them.

Daddy God I pray for the people who's lives and posessions are in danger of being ruined by this hurricane. Father I pray a mighty wind to make the hurricane less vicious. I pray everyone will be able to get out safely. Lord protect them.

Amen

The Top Ten Influential Women in My Life So Far #2

The second woman I am going to highlight in my list is my mommy. My mom is an amazing woman. She has faced her share of challenges in her life. One thing that stands out about my mom is her perseverence. She has stood by my side through the many hospitalizations and just plain crap I've been through. I can't imagine how hard it was for her to take having her middle daughter go through so much. My mommy is such an amazingly strong woman. God has definitely given her strength. She was willing to take my circumstances seriously and get me help, and make me stick with getting help. She dealt with me not wanting to get out of bed and my stubbornness on certain issues. She is amazing. Always has been, always will be.

I LOVE YOU MOMMY!!

The Top Ten Influential Women in My Life So Far.

I have decided that I am going to do a little "series" on my blog. Mark Lee is doing a "songwriting hacks" series, so I'm going to do my own series. This series is entitled "The Top Ten Influential Women in My Life So Far."

So, first of all, this list is in absolutly NO order. I cannot put a level of importance on any of these women's impact on my life.

So, Influential Woman # 1 is *drumroll please*

My current/former therapist Carrie.

Carrie's impact on my life is fairly obvious as she was/is my therapist. Carrie is an incredible woman, her and I spent many hours talking through my issues. She helped me face some of my biggest fears and pointed out some things about myself that I don't think I would have ever seen without help. I saw her regularly for about 2 years. I currently am on an "as needed" basis with her. So yeah, it's been a month since I've seen her and I'm fine. Which is very happy, yet kind of sad.
Although we paid her, she was a true friend. She allowed me to intrude on her life many times when I was in crisis. She came and visited me in the hospital the two times I was in. She is an incredible woman.
The only thing that I don't like is that she isn't a Christian. So yeah, pray for her. Pray that her and her husband will become Christians and that her baby will be raised in a Christian home.

So yeah, that is what I have to say about my former/current therapist.

Third Day's "Cry Out To Jesus"

Yeah, I'm a slacker and am just now listening to the real version and extended version of the song (downloadable from Third Day's website at least I think it still is. . . if it isn't, leave a comment. . .) It's amazing. People have lost so much. This song is powerful. I can relate to it and I'm sure all of us can, because at some point in our lives, we have hurt. The line I really like is "He'll meet you wherever you are" How powerful is that? One thing I know I forget about God is that He will bring me back from wherever I am. I don't have to seek him, he seeks after me. As it says in Hosea, He will allure me from the wilderness. Lord, a tragedy has happened. Let people come to you because of it.

*sings* I've got peace like a river i've got peace like a river!

John 14:27 - "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful.

Peace. Jesus mentions peace a lot in the Bible. I don't know exactly how many, and I'm too lazy to count. :D This verse has been on my mind lately. God has given me such incredibly peace. So much peace that I don't know what to do with it. I've gotten so used to constant internal conflict, and now, that is gone. It's really nice and really wierd at the same time. There is a song that says "I want a peace beyond my understanding" and this is it! It's AMAZING!

Feeling Restless

Right now I'm feeling restless. I think i'm ALREADY getting bored with school! ARGH. i just, doing the same thing day in and day out get's to me. i don't know. i want to do something exciting, something amazing, and this definitely isn't it. I know i HAVE to go to school first, and that someday i will do something incredible and exciting. Maybe i already have and i just don't know it. I don't know. I think it's just a phase. I have phases.

You guys, God is so amazing. I'm doing so well. It's amazing. God is so good.

my hair

here is my hair

hmm

well, i really haven't had any deep and inspiring thoughts today, so i'll leave this for you. Today marks one year since i was released from the Psych Ward. and i am dying my hair purple. fun crazy times! i'll post a picture tommorrow if i can figure out how!

Love

*sings* All we need is love! ba ba da badumba

I'm watching "Two Men and a Boy" or whatever that show with Charlie Sheen. . . I forget it's name. It's the episode where Charlie and Alan pretend to be gay.

This show always makes me think about the Church's response to homosexuality. Jesus calls us to love our neighbors, he doesn't put any qualifiers on it either. He didn't say "love your neighbor unless they're gay," he simply said "Love your neighbors." not only did he say this, but he said it is the second comand. So, obviously, loving your neighbor is a very important thing to do. . .

How do we love our neighbor though. In regards to homosexuality, is ignoring that a person is gay loving them? Or is loving them talking to them about the truth, trying to show them that Jesus is King. Some people seem to like to "love" homosexuals by shoving the Bible down their throats.

I don't really know the answer to this question. I have a friend who is gay and I don't know what to do. I love this guy and I want him to know Christ. But I don't think he believes in the Bible, so therefore quoting verses means nothing you know? If you don't believe in the Bible, using verses isn't going to persuade you of anything you know? I'm kind of tangenty tonight, I apologize.

So basically, how do we love people who are different from us?

Are we all druggies?

Karl Marx said "Religion is the Opiate of the Masses." Today on the way home from St. Louis (where we watched the Cardinals beat the Mets on Saturday) I somehow got to thinking about that quote. I first heard it in my Intro to Sociology class at Moberly last year (wow, has it really been a year?).

So yeah, is religion really just a drug to calm the people? As I look at my life, I see how God has given me peace and gotten me through rough times, and I wonder, would I have made it through without God? Is God just something I invent to make myself feel better? Yes, I know these are hard questions to ask and to answer, but I like to ponder on them some. Keeps the mind sharp!

I don't believe God is just something I make up. Do I have scientific evidence, no, but it's what I believe. If I didn't believe, I would feel lost and alone. I am sure of this because I tried to not believe. No matter how hard I tried to push God out of my life, everything came back to God.

Is God just some idea we use to calm ourselves? This is a question many people of my generation and generations before and generations to come have and will ask. How will you answer it?

Outspoken

Tonight was Fuel. Fuel is basically "college and young adult youth group" at my college church, The Crossing.

Tuesday marked the passing of a year since i admitted myself to the hospital, and it's been a kinda rough but amazing week for me. God has really shown me how much He has grown me in just a year. He is so amazing. I'm a different person than I was just a year ago. The same, but different in so many positive aspects. I'm not scared of the future anymore, I'm not paranoid, I know how to cry. He is so faithful. God is good

So, to the point. At Fuel we're talking about prayer and during the sermon God was just kinda giving me a little upset stomach, which is how He usually tells me to do something. . . so then teh sermon was over and we were singing, and the upset tummy got worse. So, I went and talked to the leader guy and just told him how amazing God has worked in my life and that it's been a year and all that jazz, and he asked me if i wanted to tell the whole group (about 100 people) and I said yes. So, I did. I only talked like for 2 minutes, but I shared my joy with the community. It was incredibly scary and satisfying at the same time.

Guys, God is so powerful. He answers prayer. I know my life is a testament to so many answered prayers. Be a ray of Jesus light to the world. Shine like the stars in the Heaven. Be Jesus to someone.

God Bless
Angela

A real blog for the Pickle

Well, today i was reading Sarah mercyGurl's blog and i thought to myself, "i want a REAL blog. not a therapy blog like my xanga is, something to get real thoughts out there, and not just something to say "my day was blah blah blah"' don't worry, i'll keep my xanga and vent there, but this one is more. . . formal? i don't know what word i want to use, but formal sounds good!

I will post a real post after Fuel tonight.