Some thoughts

The fog is lifting off my weary mind. Jesus is good you guys. He has brought me out of pain. He just plain rocks the llama wool.

Just recently i started making some friends at Fuel, and now i'm all paranoid about them. Not really paranoid, but concerned. I'm concerned that they are or will become "Therapy Friends" in other words, friends taht see you only as your illness. Friends who can't see past your problems and see you as a person. Now, i don't think any of these people are that shallow, but you never know. I want friends who can be there when i need them, but can still be my friend when i'm not hurting, which is a rare breed. Online i have some friends who are "pain" friends. People i go to when i hurt and need prayer or help or just someone to talk to. then i also have friends who i NEVER talk about my illness (bipolar disorder) with. I don't want more therapy friends. I want true honest friends who are there for me no matter what the weather. Friends who will be my friend even though i like dumb jokes and even though i hurt really bad and sometimes try to hurt those i love because i don't believe i am worthy of being loved. Ah well. I am sure these are true people, honest and true who will be my friend even when i'm happy.

Guys God is amazing. Through this last "episode" He has taught me that He is good no matter the circumstance. No matter how i feel or how upset i am with him, he is good, he is pure, he is holy, and he is all powerful and in control.